“Real Pianists of New York City”

by pieces of moments

Can Jeremy Denk get any more brilliant? Everyone, but especially pianists, should read his newest blog post, “Legislating From My Bench,” which is his own personal twist on the ongoing health care debate. Don’t read this in a library like I did…you’ll want to be somewhere where you can laugh very loud.

Check this excerpt out:

If a pianist is playing the ”Goldberg“ Variations, a whole series of provisions pertain, viz:

a) for each mention of Glenn Gould at the post-concert reception, or at any question-and-answer session, the pianist is permitted three (3) massage sessions, and such aroma- and gastro- therapy as he may require, in addition, to be covered under the Groupies for the Assistance of Pianists Agency;

b) for each time that the pianist is asked to compare the earlier and later Gould recordings of the ”Goldberg“ Variations, he is permitted one (1) rude outburst, as dictated in HR 131, the so-called ”Really? Can’t We Talk About Anything Else? Act“

Okay, okay…one more because this is SO AWESOME (no offense if you happen to actually like Lang Lang):

No pianist shall be required to read Lang Lang’s autobiography, now or at any other time. Should a pianist accidentally do so, in whole or in part, he shall be covered under Medicare Section 1103e for all injuries he will commit to his own person, for a period not to exceed 20 days or as mutually agreed upon by the restraining physician.

Read the rest here.